Welcome to our Academy Awards Best Picture series — APROPOS OF NOTHING: CVG DOES THE OSCARS.
In this series, we’re dissecting all ten best picture nominees from a Cosmic Valley Girl perspective. We’ll pull the astrological natal charts of each film to help us understand what the hell is going on under the surface of some of these movies… but more importantly, to see if we can predict who the Best Pic winner will be.
And just to make things slightly more confusing, we're pairing Best Picture nominees based on their astrological sister signs.
Our first episode was on The Substance (Sagittarius) and Wicked (Gemini).
Our second episode was on Conclave (Capricorn) and Anora (Cancer).
This week? We’re discussing Emilia Perez (Leo) and Dune 2 (Aquarius).
Dune 2 and Emelia Perez basically said "what if we took two completely unhinged approaches to exploring identity and prophecy?" and honestly... they kind of ate? Let's discuss.
After last week's breathless enjoyment of daddy Conclave (bless me, father!!!!!), and Anora (our fave so far) we're once again blessed with a surprisingly cosmic pairing. Both films are working overtime on the Leo-Aquarius axis (center vs. edges! individual vs. collective! prophecy vs. free will! Timothy Chalamet's tiny desert suit vs. the void!).
Dune 2 gives us a deeply unbalanced, tilted chart — we're talking a massive Pisces stellium that's absolutely perfect for a film about drug-induced space prophecies and whatever that blue eye situation is giving. The film somehow convinced two confirmed theater-averse girlies to watch it TWICE (the way that's actually historic), proving that even the most determined hater can be converted by good world-building and Josh Brolin’s mega zaddy energy in the desert.
Meanwhile, Emilia Perez really gave us the problematic Leo energy we were hoping for and the results are... fascinating? The film's Scorpio-heavy chart (with Sun and Moon at the same degree — new cycle bffs) matches its willingness to get weird with it. Between the "penis to vagina" musical number and the general subject matter it's either the most cursed or most blessed film of 2024. The jury's still out, but its chances of sweeping the Oscars got significantly lower when its lead decided to become Twitter's main character (just delete your tweets, guys, it's 2025).
Chart-wise, both films are kind of middling, "could go either way" energy, landing them somewhere in the middle of our current power rankings.
On the magical scale (0 to 22 major arcana), we clocked both at a surprising solid 20. Between Dune’s spice-induced prophecy journey and whatever was happening in that house when the kid said "you smell like my dad," we're deep in the esoteric waters.
Next week: We're finally tackling The Brutalist and Nickel Boys (assuming we can actually get ourselves to a theater). The Pisces-Virgo axis demands our attention, and we kind of can’t wait.
COSMIC VALLEY GIRL BEST PICTURE RANKING
Anora (Cancer)
Conclave (Capricorn)
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Dune 2 (Aquarius)
Emilia Perez (Leo)
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The Substance (Sagittarius)
Wicked (Gemini)
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