Welcome to our Academy Awards Best Picture series — APROPOS OF NOTHING: CVG DOES THE OSCARS.
In this series, we’re dissecting all ten best picture nominees from a Cosmic Valley Girl perspective. We’ll pull the astrological natal charts of each film to help us understand what the hell is going on under the surface of some of these movies… but more importantly, to see if we can predict who the Best Pic winner will be.
And just to make things slightly more confusing, we're pairing Best Picture nominees based on their astrological sister signs.
Our first episode was on The Substance (Sagittarius) and Wicked (Gemini).
Our second episode was on Conclave (Capricorn) and Anora (Cancer).
Our third episode covered Emilia Perez (Leo) and Dune 2 (Aquarius).
This week? We’re discussing The Brutalist (Virgo) and Nickel Boys (Pisces), and honestly, these two are basically the Virgo-Pisces axis personified in celluloid.
First up: The Brutalist. Now, were we prepared to hate this film solely because of the 3.5 hr run time? Absolutely. Did we hate it? Decidedly no!
With its moon in Virgo (we love an exacting and demanding queen) and sun at the 29th degree of Sagittarius (astrology party people know this is literally called the “destroyer” degree, very spooky), this movie’s not-so-subtle theme is "I will make my art exactly how I want it even if it kills me.”
Despite our overarchingly positive feedback, we do have some picky nits with the film, and we discuss them in today’s episode. Beyond that, we’re pretty bullish on The Brutalist winning some pretty big awards… potentially Best Picture. The natal chart has a lot to do with our confidence:
Moon in Virgo = obsessive attention to detail + lowkey masochistic dedication to craft
Final degree Sagittarius sun = the chaos agent we didn't know we needed
Major mutable sign energy throughout = serving doubles, splits, and identity crisis realness
Meanwhile, Nickel Boys flew us to another planet. When we talk about cinematic birth charts that deserve their own dissertation, Nickel Boys presents us with an astrological framework so precise it feels almost mathematically designed to shatter us emotionally.
Moon and Venus in Taurus: A grounding force that anchors the film's experimental narrative in visceral, embodied experience
These traditional comfort-seeking placements are being electrified by Uranus, creating a viewing experience that feels like watching memories through a kaleidoscope
The result? A film that makes dissociation look like an art installation at the Whitney
Both films ultimately stayed with us, albeit in different ways. The Brutalist vibrated with specificity, detail, mathematical accuracy; Nickel Boys made us feel what the main characters were going through so clearly using amorphous, diaphonis memory.
Current Oscar prediction lineup (based purely on vibes and planetary positions, obviously):
The Brutalist (she's got that “fuck it we ball” 29° energy)
Anora (Cancer)
Conclave (Capricorn)
Nickel Boys (perhaps deserved better but Jupiter isn't in its favor)
Dune 2 (Aquarius)
Emilia Perez (Leo)
??
??
The Substance (Sagittarius)
Wicked (Gemini)
The girlies have The Brutalist taking home the gold, which tracks because nothing says "Oscar bait" quite like a three-hour meditation on architectural trauma with a Virgo moon. That's gotta be Academy voter core aesthetic, right?
Your fave movie-loving astrology gals will return next week with more celestial hot takes on cinema. In the meantime, maybe check your progressed chart for emotional damage from these screenings.
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