APROPOS OF NOTHING: A COMPLETE UNKNOWN (ARIES) VS. I'M STILL HERE (LIBRA)

Welcome to our Academy Awards Best Picture series — APROPOS OF NOTHING: CVG DOES THE OSCARS.

In this series, we’re dissecting all ten best picture nominees from a Cosmic Valley Girl perspective. We’ll pull the astrological natal charts of each film to help us understand what the hell is going on under the surface of some of these movies… but more importantly, to see if we can predict who the Best Pic winner will be.

And just to make things slightly more confusing, we're pairing Best Picture nominees based on their astrological sister signs.

Our first episode was on The Substance (Sagittarius) and Wicked (Gemini).

Our second episode was on Conclave (Capricorn) and Anora (Cancer).

Our third episode covered Emilia Perez (Leo) and Dune 2 (Aquarius).

Our fourth episode delved into The Brutalist (Virgo) and Nickel Boys (Pisces).

And in this, our fifth and final episode before the Academy Awards, we’re reviewing A Complete Unknown (Aries) and I’m Still Here (Libra). In a twist that we certainly didn’t see coming, we spent our precious time watching not one but TWO biopics. The vibes? Agressively fine. The astrology? Somewhat chaotic. The fingernails in A Complete Unknown? Criminally unwashed. Will either of these movies mess with our Best Picture predictions? Read on…

I'm Still Here delivered what can only be described as "technically proficient cinema your substitute teacher puts on when they're hungover." Beautiful set design? Sure! A point of view beyond "this happened"? Absolutely nowhere to be found.

Technically, this film is good. It’s a meaningful true story, depressing as hell, and incredibly well acted. Because I’m Still Here is nominated for Best Foreign Film, Best Actress, and Best Picture — as is Emilia Perez — it has quite a few shots to be recognized by The Academy.

I'm Still Here’s natal chart came through with major earth sign energy (Virgo moon, Capricorn sun) plus Venus conjunct Saturn in Pisces — perhaps astro-speak for "this movie will be respected but never beloved." We clocked this as our Libra movie because of the social justice and family themes, but ultimately don’t feel this chart indicates strongly in one direction or another.

Meanwhile, A Complete Unknown gives us Timothée Chalamet as Bob Dylan in what Emmalea brilliantly described as "Bob Dylan as autistic zoomer."

Again, another technically good movie, and a general crowd pleaser. Ultimately, we felt this script (and for Emmalea, Timmy’s performance) flattened and sanitized the identity of Bob Dylan too much. We’re supposed to believe all of these brilliant people find him beyond talented and special and captivating despite his idiosyncrasies, but we never really get to see that charisma ourselves which makes the whole movie a bit of a tough sell.

That said, the chart reflects A Complete Unknown’s surprising-ish Oscar upswing from the moment nominations were announced. The chart’s Aries moon conjunct a Sagittarius sun definitely gives it a supercharged boost — but maybe this movie burned too hot, too fast. Can it have staying power to last through Sunday and take home the trophy for Best Picture? Truth and time will tell…

Current Oscar prediction lineup (based purely on vibes and planetary positions, obviously):

1. The Brutalist

2. Anora

3. Conclave

4. The Substance (in a significant jump from last week!)

5. A Complete Unknown

6. Nickel Boys

7. Emilia Perez

8. Dune 2

9. I’m Still Here

10. Wicked

We’re coming to you with one more post with our final Oscar predictions based solely on the astrology, and then the main event is here. Join us in the live chat to get the CVG running commentary live during the Academy Awards ceremony.